Lifestyle: Widowed and Dating vs. Facebook Dating Sites

It’s one thing to be come a widowed woman and have to consider whether or not to jump back into the pool of dating, than to have to deal with current dating strategies that are all online through social media.  I was widowed six months again.  I refused to talk to anyone before the sixth month mark only because I wanted to see where I was in my grieving, how I felt mentally and emotionally and to get an idea of what route did I want to take if I decided I wanted to put myself back on the market.

It’s been 21 years and to have to entertain the idea of dating again is horrifying only because the world has changed in 21 years with how we see men dating women and women dating men, and the LGBTQ movement.

Joining a widows support group helped me to get my thoughts together.  It helped me to realize what I did not want to spend the rest of my life doing after watching what other women experienced, still experiencing, and are having a hard time letting go 5+ years later.  I did not want to be that woman sitting in my room crying night after night from loneliness, from having lost him, and from feeling forgotten.  No, I did not want to be that woman.

I started with looking on Facebook to see what types of singles groups are on there.  Boy, are they laughable.  So, the one group I joined is really fun.  Everyone is engaging.  There are some serious conversations you can get involved in, some crazy questions you want to avoid sometimes 🙂 and there’s the Selfie Saturday because you get to see who is so in to themselves.  They hold mixers regularly, which makes it fun to get to see who’s who and find that chemistry you’re looking for, and then there is those getting put on blast on the group because someone was a real douche bag.

Other sites I scrolled through reading what they are about are like chubby men and women looking for love, black women dating white men, black only dating sites, and the list goes on.

So, the site for black women looking to date white men is a joke.  But remember what it’s called, “Black Women Dating White Men.”  Remember that.  Here’s why.  First of all, there are a lot of black boys on the group.  Yes, boys.  I think there are more black young boys on there from Nigeria, Africa, Dubai and other third world countries. Though the site is supposed to be US based only.  Perhaps they did not read the clause and purpose of the group before joining.  There are not a lot of good looking men, and the ones that are on the group are so into themselves that it’s disgusting.  One young guy’s Facebook profile is full of nothing but selfies of himself.  I nearly puked.

On this group you have to list your deal breakers up front after you’ve been approved into the “closed” group, and you have initially introduced yourself with a selfie.  Why list your deal breakers on there right away?  Because if you don’t that’s when the desperate dudes start filling up your inbox swearing you are the one for them.  They’ll start off calling you baby, darling, sexy, etc. as if they’ve overlooked your name altogether in their failed attempt at trying to introduce themselves to you. And you better be sure to include they have to be within a certain age group, have a good handle on the English language and not type like they’re a toddler.  And you should include if you are specifically looking to date a white man from the US otherwise you’ll find messages from everyone across the globe trying to get at you.

What I found laughable is they all say, “I’m looking for the perfect one,” “You’re the one for me,” “I love you,” “I’m looking for my soul mate,” and it just keeps going from there.  That’s all fine and dandy but if the woman is not ready to get into a relationship with these desperados and go running down the isle with the first dude who says “I love you and want to marry you,” after a few messages with you in one day, don’t get all butt hurt because she is not feeling you like you think you feeling her.  Stop telling yourself that.

What I found on this site is a lot of stupid and desperate men and women who are oblivious to the true reality of dating.  Many women post pictures of themselves laying in bed crying over not having a warm body laying next to them.  Men post pictures of themselves asking who wants to come lay with them, and one I saw, which was classic and I thought I saw everything, questions about or implying who wanted to be a “F” buddy.

I was only on the group a few days after having had to block this guy whom I started having a decent conversation with but it went south when I told him I was not racing down the isle with him and he needed to slow down with the all the mushiness and to stop referencing my feet.  He got mad because I refused to go at the pace he wanted to go in finding his soulmate.  So after he made some snide remarks, I politely blocked him from everything I could block him from and left the group after telling them how stupid and desperate they all were.

Becoming a widow it does leave you open to all sorts of vulnerability.  People all of a sudden think you’re desperate for love and need someone right away to fill that empty space.  Once piece of advice I received from the widows group — which I thought was the best piece of advice I could have ever gotten — was “wait six months and see how you feel about dating.  There is nothing like having a really bad rebound relationship.”  And it made sense.  That is when I really started doing some soul searching determining what direction I wanted to go and how long I wanted to wait.

As a widow in the dating scene I learned you have to set the terms early on otherwise the whole thing can go south in a matter of seconds.  Start out with conversation.   See how open the conversation is and how much you want to talk about.  That is when you can tell how much you have in common, your likes and dislikes, family values, past relationships, compatibility, maturity level, and whether or not you like that person enough to want to see them on a long term basis.  If you discover it’s going to be solely based on sex…run for the hills and keep on running and don’t look back.  The worse thing you can do is get back into the dating scene and it be only based on sex and nothing more.  But then again, I learned that is what a lot of widowed men and women are looking for before they decide to settle down again.  To each his own, I say.  As far as social media dating groups go, they are a joke — at least the ones I have come across.

I have not looked into E-Harmony or the black singles dating site, although they are out there to match compatible people together.  I honestly prefer the old fashion way, which is how I met my late husband.  But the times have changed so much that dating sites and mixers is where people go to meet other people.  My daughter says I need to get out and mingle.  I am just not ready for the cat fishers who want to lie about who that are and what they look like, and I have no time for those who want to brag about what they can do in bed but end up a total disappointment.  My late husband set the bar high making him a tough act to follow.

Because dating sites are the big thing these days, and this is where society puts its faith.  I am one to try almost anything once.  So, come correct and let’s see where things go.

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Commentary: Drastic Decisions to Help Family Costs Freedom — What Would You Have Done?

There is a story going around Facebook about a young man in Oregon who had been struggling for what has been quite a long time to take care of his wife and children.  He is a hard working young man, striving for a better life for his family — to move them into a home and out of the trailer they were living in and to have the finances necessary to turn their life around.

Everyone who knew, knows, and had a brief chance at meeting him have all said that he is a very nice individual.  Very respectful, kind and considerate, loves his family, and willing to do anything for them. He has exhausted all of his resources in finding the help he needed, back constantly against the wall, and there was seeming to be no way out of his situation of struggling and always needing money.  So, what happens when someone comes along, sees your desperation to survive and gives you a way out?  Makes you an offer you can’t refuse?  This is what happened with him.  He was approached with an opportunity that looked too good to be true, an offer he couldn’t refuse, a way to provide for his family.  He was hired to take the life of another man.  Had it been successfully done he would have received a substantial amount of money.  The targeted individual did not die according to the reports heard, and he was eventually caught and taken to jail.  At best he would be most likely tried for attempted murder.

The many comments that surfaced after the story broke and hit social media were on an equal scale.  Those who understood the situation he was in and why he made the decision he did, and there were those who considered him scum of the earth, should be imprisoned for rest of his life.  And there were those who could not understand why he made the decision he did.  Let’s go back — he’d been struggling for quite some time trying to take care of his wife and children.  All of his resources to find help had been exhausted.  He had no other way out other than accepting the offer, which he saw would have been able to provide for his family.

First of all let’s point out that people do not know what they would unless they are actually faced with a situation where a drastic decision has to be made for the sole purpose of surviving.  If you people who are talking about what this young man had to lose and how he could have bettered his situation had he put in more of an effort don’t know his story behind choosing to do what he did, then you are just as clueless as the next person.

If you’ve never had to go hungry for days and days and days, never had to go hungry so your children could eat, never had to sleep on the street or in dark places just to survive the night for an extensive period of time hoping you wake up the next morning without being robbed of your worldly possessions or raped or beaten, never had to sleep in your car for an extensive period of time hoping no one broke in, never had to panhandle just to scrape up a few dollars just to get a cup off coffee, never had to rob and steal just so you can have food or support an addiction, never had to beg for a glass of water, never had to deal with family turning their back on you when you were at your lowest, then you as a people will never come close to understanding why he made the decision he did.

Secondly, I write this commentary because I understand why he made the decision he made.  He no longer wanted his family to go without.  He wanted to move them out of that trailer into a home.  He was to end his financial struggles.  He wanted a better life not just for himself but for his family.  Every one who knows him will tell that all he ever talks about is his family.

Throughout my life I have been in situations where I have gone hungry so my family could eat when food and money was scarce and work was not paying enough to pay the rent and the bills, and I was the only one working.  I have had to go without just so my family could be comfortable and have what they needed to survive.  I’ve had a brush with nearly being homeless when my mother and I weren’t getting along all of a sudden and she wanted me out right after my daughter left the state.  I slept in my car for two weeks when I couldn’t stay the entire night in her home.  I had to sleep in my car by the lake near where I worked and had to bathe in the bathroom of the facility I worked in just down the hall from the office I worked in.  I had all of my clothes in my car that was not in storage.  I’ve slept in seedy motels when my ex-mother-in-law threw my husband and I out of her house.

I have been in situations where I did not know where my next dollar was coming from, or how I was going to pay the rent, or where was I going to lay my head.  Decisions I made weren’t smart decisions, but I fed my family long enough until employment opportunities paved the way for me to turn my life around and make life better for my family and until additional incomes started coming in.  We pay for the mistakes we make and are held accountable for the poor decisions we make.  Our life’s lessons are testimonies to others so that they can find other way outs to survive their current situations.  Does not always help, and unless there is someone out there genuinely willing to help, what else are you left with besides making poor decisions for the sole purpose of surviving for you and/or your family.

I know first hand at what it is like to struggle.  From being a kid to being an adult.  I know what it feels like to hit the bottom of the barrel with no one there to help pick you up.  It’s about picking yourself up and dusting yourself off and hitting the ground running to start all over to try again.  But if what all your trying, all your efforts, and attempts at being in a better life fail and continues to fail?  What would you do?  Some people become suicidal because they see no escape…no end.  Some people fall in with the wrong crowds.  Some people just give up or find other alternatives for living and surviving even though it may mean losing their freedom, their life, or both.

Think before you speak on why someone else made the choices they made.

In closing, before you go to criticize someone for making a poor decision for the purpose of surviving and taking care of their family, take a long hard look at yourself because you never know what you won’t do unless you are absolutely faced with a life changing situation and you options are very limited. Holler back if you know what I’m talking about.

Employment: Temporary Agencies Operate on Similar Premises

It doesn’t matter where you go or what state you live in, if you rely on the services of a temporary agency to help find you work, you are pretty much in for a rude awakening.  Everyone’s experience is not the same, but you will find those who will tell you that they applied for specific jobs through temporary agencies and never heard back from the agencies, or they did but never heard about being submitted or that particular job, or discovered that the job was closed but never removed from the site it was originally posted.

Back in the day it used to be you could go through a temporary agency and be placed on assignments whether it was for a day, a few days, a week, indefinitely, or if it was temporary to hire.  There was never his having to be submitted and sit and wait to determine if whether or not you were selected for an interview.  You had more options and opportunities working with temporary agencies then.  Once an assignment ended, all you had to do give the agency a call on your last day or the next day, let them know you were still available and they would let you know right then and there if they had any new assignments they could immediately send you out on.  One thing that was the same then was even though you had the option of letting an agency know you were not available, you could only do that so many times before they dropped you from their recruiting roster.  That remains a true fact to date.

Nowadays a lot of time is wasted with temporary agencies  chasing after positions, hoping and praying you are selected for an interview once your resume is submitted.  Unless you have a stellar recruiter who works to keep your best interest in mind and you’re not sending emails left and right, and calling them leaving one voicemail after another, and they never respond back to you, you have a better chance at being kept in front of available job opportunities.  The thing about that, too, is you have to stay relevant in their minds.  What does that mean?  You have to let them know regularly that you are still available and actively looking for jobs.  This is why I recommend do not put your job search solely in the hands of temporary agencies.  Although there are really good agencies, there are also really bad ones, too.

Keep your job search flexible.  Don’t just wait for the phone ring from your recruiter.  You have to put in some foot and leg work, too because you never know when a good fit is going to come along.  And sometimes a recruiter can get so busy that you just may fall through the cracks — another reason why you have to also be out there pounding the pavement looking for work.

When I called this one agency and asked her if she had received my email regarding my previously submitted application and to find out the status on my background check and references check, the recruiter told me that everything had come back and that “perhaps you did not understand when you were here about calling in to see what was available.”  First of all, I was told that I would get a call once everything had gone through.  I never heard about the position I had originally applied for, which seems to be the case with every temporary these days, and that other positions I inquired about were either closed, or my background of 22 years plus was not a good fit.  Baffled?  I was because I had spent over 2 hours at that agency only to get nothing.  No interview on anything even with me on the phone with her going over what positions she had available.

Bottom line, unless you have one hell of a work experience with glowing education, and top, top notch experience, you are likely to get pushed to the back burner of no return.  It doesn’t matter if you are contacting them every single day  you may and may not get the response you want regards to available jobs.  And don’t be surprised if you contact an agency and they tell you, “Sorry, we don’t have anything that fits your work history.”  And sometimes won’t invite you to sign up or come in to meet with someone.  It gets to be discouraging, but what can you do?

The fact that all agencies pretty much operate on the same premise leaves little hope for some of us with less than a ideal work experience you are going to be put on the bottom of the barrel.  You apply for a job, some will tell you have fabulous work experience while others will say you are not what they are looking for.  My daughter has tried for the past four years to get in with a temporary agency and each one has told her she was not qualified enough to sign up with them.  They did not even offer her any onsite training (like they used to do) to help her build up some computer skills, didn’t even grant her an interview to meet with a recruiter to talk about options.  In such, her computer training came from me.  Any office skills she gained came from me because when I saw the hurt in her face, it saddened me to think these agencies have forgotten the value of true talent and helping those with less than the ideal work experience.  And it moved me to help her build up some office experience that someone would look at.  She has had the opportunity to work at Express, Carters, and Chipotle, but she does not really want to be stuck working in fast food and retail.  So the quest is on to gain her some extensive office experience that will get her in front of a hiring manager.

Agencies will see that you applied for a job through their site or responded to a job on a job board, but rarely will you ever hear about that job again.  It is just the way it goes, and unless you have adequate educational training, you can pretty much forget it.  They lure you in, you expect to be submitted for that particular job, then find out you’ve wasted  whole lot of your time getting taken around the mulberry bush only to find out you’re not even being considered for that job.  I want some to call these temporary agencies on their BS and ask them, “so, what about the job I originally applied for?  Are you going to submit my resume for that job or are you going to sit here and waste my time?”

The fact that if you do not have the experience to sign up for many of these temporary agencies you are likely to fall short of getting back to work as quickly as you would like to.  I know because it took me eight months to find work aside from the part time and contract work here and there.

I am looking to change they way we help individuals with no work experience or lack the experience they need who do not want to get stuck working in fast food joints and retail, and who want to move into office setting positions.  It starts with the individual, too, how hard they are willing to work and the time and effort they are willing to put into it.  Because it makes no sense that some of the temporary agencies have fallen short of helping those get ahead in jobs whether clerical, customer service or data entry, instead leave them in the point of no return.

If you want to learn basic computer skills such as Word, Powerpoint, and how to use a database program such as Access, and help you start your journey towards getting that first interview, email me at rjexecutivestudio@hotmail.com and let’s talk about how I can help you with learning basic computer skills, teach you how to type, help you set up a resume, and how to prepare and dress for an interview.  Don’t let temporary agencies discourage you.  It’s not the end of the world.  You just need someone to help point you in the right direction.  The rest is up to you.

Email me your temporary agency experience.  I’d love to hear what you experienced how you handled it.

Employment: Job Boards vs. Craigslist

Ever wonder why when you go to Craigslist to find jobs in your background and in the city you live you cannot seem to find the right one that matches your experience?  It’s probably because job boards have become the number one go-to resources for employers to post jobs in search for top qualified individuals with years of experience.  Or as they are now known as “talent.”

The pros to turning to job boards is that you are more likely to find good jobs with attractive salary ranges, and are a good match to your work experience.  Applying for jobs is easy and makes the process manageable.  However, the cons to using job boards is that if you sign up to use one job board you will find that other resources will start filling up your email with so-called job related positions based on your previous searches and you will have not requested to be on some of those job boards.  You will find that other resources like out of state search firms will start calling you and/or emailing with jobs in ridiculous locations and you’ll be wondering how did they get your email and/phone number when you know you never signed up with them, never contacted them, and have no idea who they are.

Craigslist, to me, is a joke when it comes to job listings.  It seems that everybody’s momma can post a job ad.  And when you check out the ad you’re wondering if whether or not it is a legitimate ad.  Don’t get me wrong, I have found some good jobs on Craigslist both full time and part time, and even some gigs, but let’s face it, when you are in a crunch and need a job like yesterday, you need to go where you know you are going to find good job resources.

The best job board so far I have been checking out is Indeed.com.  Before you go jumping over to their website, here are a few things you need to consider when you are searching for your next job.

  1. Have a current resume ready to upload:  Try not to set up an account because I did and I was bombarded with emails from all sorts of other job boards I never even signed up for.  If you do sign up, check your preferences.
  2. Use a direct apply on jobs you find:  You do not have to necessarily apply for jobs through Indeed.com.  Using a direct apply takes you directly to the employer’s page which makes the application process better and you know they received it.
  3. Include a cover letter:  Using a cover letter will better your chances of your application being reviewed.  The more documentation you upload related to the job post you are responding to, the better.  Your cover letter should be directed towards the position, why you are interest in it, and why you feel you are a good match.

Career Builder is also another good job search, but like with all others, signing up with it can mean you will get bombarded.  In the city I live in employers do not post many jobs on Craigslist.  I have to go to the job boards in order to determine if there are any job openings in my city or near by cities that I can apply for that are above the $11.00 an hour rate.  And at my age with a car note, rent, utilities, credit cards, and supporting a house hold of four minimum wage just does not cut it.

In a sense job boards are where the hidden gems to good jobs are found.  Craigslist is just the barely the icing on the cake.  If you want a good job you have to roll up your sleeves and get buried knee deep into job boards in order to get a glimpse of actually what is out there and where employers are posting available jobs that you are qualified to apply for.

Don’t be discourages because if you don’t find a job on one job board you are likely to find it on another.  Just depends on how deep you are willing to go and how long of a period of time are you willing to search.  And don’t put your faith in temporary agencies and executive search firms.  They like to drag their feet and give you the run around.

Have an experience you’d like to share using Craigslist and job boards you can email me any time and I will respond back and if you like I can share your experience right here.

Employment: When is a Wrongful Termination Sue-able

Life happens!  Let’s just get this out there right now.  And so life happens, many employers are not willing to look beyond this fact unless you have documents from varying resources to back it up (i.e., doctors note, FMLA documents, prenatal care appointments signed by the doctor, etc.)  What do we know? Unexcused absences and tardies are grounds for leading up to, but not limited to being written leading up and/or terminated.  Employers operate on the same premise when it comes to strict policies that regulate time off be it sick time, paid vacation, accrued personal days, and bereavement.  There is always some governing factor that determines how and when time can be taken and the consequences to not adhering to those factors stipulated in the policies or otherwise known as the Employee Handbook, which every has to sign to confirm they received it.

Basically, employers feel like this — as long you are scheduling time off appropriately, meaning are not waiting until the last minute to decide you need time off, and you have checked with your direct supervisor to make sure there is enough coverage during the time you need to take off, and you have the time available to take, you are most likely not going to hit any barriers.  But if you do not have the time available, and you are not approved for the time off, and you did not follow the guidelines for taking time off you are subject to being written up, you could be placed on probation, or you could be terminated.  It is as the company’s discretion.  In most cases, you get three opportunities to screw up, where the third time being your last time and the forth is you are being handed your walking papers.

So, let’s talk about emergency times taken off.  How can these affect you and in what way?  The same rules that apply to taking paid time off, calling in sick, taking bereavement time off, and FMLA also applies to taking emergencies.  You can’t help when life throws you a curve ball and unexpected situations happen such as a child or family is ill and you have to rush to ER, or you were in a fender bender and have to call and say you’ll be late, or you have to call out sick because you’re too sick to get out of bed and have to go to ER, or your husband/wife was in an accident and you have to take off to be with them.  These are all legitimate emergencies that all require backup documentation to avoid you being penalized.

What if you become pregnant?  This is when the Employee Handbook comes into real focus because your becoming pregnant puts your position under scrutiny, meaning now they have to think about the times you will request to attend needed prenatal visits, and the time you will need to take off for maternity leave.  Where some companies are far more accommodating there are those who see that doing your job is far more important than requesting the needed time off to ensure you and your baby are healthy.  God forbid you have to go on bed rest, then you are pretty much fighting for your job if the employer is not willing to work with you.

Employers are very clear about maternity leave and prenatal doctor  visits.  You have to have time available in order to maintain doctor schedules or you will have to find away to go before work or after work.  Maternity leave, for some employers, depends on how much sick time you have versus when do you sign up for disability.  Some companies will tell you to exhaust your sick time before filing for disability and to ensure your return date so they can mark it on their calendar of when to expect you back to work.  But let’s turn the tables a bit…what if you go and tell your employer that you’re pregnant and they disapprove of you telling them this, they become hostile, and tell you they are not happy with the news and rather than making plans going forward they choose to terminate you?

Case Study:  Samantha’s husband was in two car accidents.  Each time she had to take off work to tend to be at the hospital.  She was told she did not have enough sick time cover any extended time off, therefore had to return to work as soon as possible.  After the second car accident her husband had, she was rushed to ER, and was reprimanded about her excessive absences.  She had been written up when she was late from having to take her children to school due to having no one at the last minute to take them and was placed on a probationary period where she was not allowed to be late for 90 days.  After she returned to work after having been in the hospital after the second car accident her husband was in, she was written up stating she had no time available to cover any extended time off as previously stipulated.  For the next couple of weeks she made a valiant effort to be to work on time, perform all of the tasks given to her, and discovers she is pregnant.  She informs her supervisor right away and together they go and talk to management who tells them at the height of the news that they were very unhappy with the news and had no other choice to but to let her go that same day.

Is this considered wrongful termination?  How could this have been handled better?  Did they try to work with her during the tragic accidents her husband had and her being in the hospital?  This employers did not look at her life’s experiences to care enough to want to make sure she was ok.  The little time she did have available they did not want to apply it to any time she needed to take off.  Instead they ordered her to return to work.  This company will tell you what time you can accrue and how to accrue but at they same time they will come up with reasons as to why you can’t take the time off, unless you go toe to toe with them and meet them half way.

The young lady mentioned in the Case Study was terminated because she told them she was pregnant.  Judging from the conversation they had, the time off she’d take a couple weeks earlier never entered the discussion.  In fact, their whole reason to firing her was based on her being pregnant.  Terminations like this can cause a riff in the atmosphere among other employees, causing them to think that if their lives changes unexpectedly are they next on the chopping block.

Being terminated for specifically announcing a pregnancy can be looked at as being wrongfully terminated if no other factors come in to play.  But should file a law suite against the company, could her attendance come in to play and be used against her?  The law suit against the company can be viewed as a retaliation law suite or claim as identified on Nolo.com.

Retaliation Claims

Under these circumstances you have to identify if you have a clear case to file a wrongful termination law suit and make sure there no other extenuating circumstances that can be used against you in the process.  It sends a message that individuals are not going to take this lying down and are fighting for their rights.

Seeking legal advice can guide you in the right direction in how to proceed if you find yourself in similar situations.  But be warned, you are going to find that you cannot use them as a reference going forward for job searches unless your supervisor is willing to provide a good reference for you.

Let’s talk about what wrongful termination is.  So what I have learned in the last few years is that California is an At Will state, meaning an employer can fire you at will and it doesn’t have to be something you did or did not do, and with or without notice  Does this mean you can walk into work to day and be told at 3:00 you’re fired?  Yes it does.  In fact, it is stated that employers are exercising their legal rights.  On Nolo.com, it says:

Employees who are fired in violation of an employment contract, for discriminatory reasons, or for exercising certain legal rights may have a wrongful termination claim. In California (as in other states), most employees work at will, which means they can be fired at any time, with or without notice. However, California has created a number of illegal reasons for termination, which are off limits for employers.

Now that we have a clear picture of what wrongful termination means, knowing that California has created illegal reasons for termination making it difficult for employers, as employees knowing your rights is important when it comes to terminations and if whether or not there is a claim that can be filed towards the employer.  Check your state for wrong termination and if you feel you have let go wrongfully seek legal advice to see what your legal ramifications are.

When you are hired, employers have to put in their hiring documents that they At Will employer exercising their legal right to fire with or without notice.  This probably At Will thing probably contributes to high turn over for some companies.

In The Office: Practicing Good Office Etiquette

vintage-officeIn an office environment, manners are just as equally important as company policies.  One of the company policies that should be high on the list is chewing gum loudly in an office environment, especially if there is loud popping and smacking involved.  Photo from Lady Daa Doo.

In the 27+ years I have been working chewing gum loudly in the office was always frowned upon, prohibited, and just plain not allowed.  Although it was acceptable to chew gum, it is how the chewing is done that makes a difference, and how it affects those who work closely around you.  So when I walked into an office environment and 2 – 3 people are popping and smacking gum throughout the office I am wondering what hell hole did I crawl into that this is tolerated.  It is very disturbing.

In an article I read, it pretty reiterates what I say that about gum chewing being limited to being done quietly.  When you are interviewing prospective candidates, the one thing they don’t want to hear is employes popping gum through the company.  It will make them lose perspective of the company they have applied to work with and it sets a bad etiquette in the office, and sets a poor precedent.

The article, Gum Chewing at Work:  Appropriate or Not?, describes it perfectly, keeping it short and simple, but plain and clear.  If management is not on top of limiting the gum chewing to appropriate levels, they are just as guilty for not stepping up and reprimanding the offenders.

If you have to chew gum in the office, think about your co-workers.  Think about who might find it offensive and disturbing if you are making sounds while you are chewing, if you are popping and blowing bubbles, if you are leaving it stuck to everything imaginable.  Or better yet, don’t chew it in the office if you cannot contain yourself from the sensation of popping it.  It certainly should not be done when there are important visitors coming for a meeting.  There has to be a high level of professionalism maintained.

City Scape: Senseless Accidents

My husband and I have lived in Long Beach, CA going on 2 1/2 years now.  And I would have to say that we have counted almost a half a dozen accidents if not more during the time we’ve lived here.  Who knows how many there are when we are not home for whatever reason.

The intersection at Anaheim Street and Daisy Avenue is just one of the dangerous intersections with there being more accidents that are caused by careless motorists who have no regards for others safety.  Speeds topping 60 – 80 mph or more coming east from the 710 freeway, trying to beat the lights at Oregon and Daisy before getting to Magnolia, or coming the other direction. 😦

A few months ago, there was a hit and run accident in the middle of the night.  The crash sounded so horrific that it brought many of the residents out of their homes to see what had happened.

Weeks before that I was crossing at Daisy and Anaheim with the right of way and a monster truck blew through the red light to make the left turn after I was still in the middle of the street, he missed me by a hair.  I shouted expletives at the driver whom never acknowledged that he was in the wrong, nearly hitting me, he just looked at me and kept on going.

About two or three weeks ago there as an accident in the early morning hours in the middle of Anaheim Street between Oregon and Daisy Avenue where an SUV collided with another car coming to a stop in the driveway of a building across from 620 Burger.

accident-10-26-16-1On Thursday, October 26, 2016 an accident occurred at the intersection of Anaheim Street and Daisy Avenue.  Apparently a car coming east bound on Anaheim Street must have lost control of his car, skidding several feet before colliding into a car that was sitting at the light on the north bound side of Daisy Avenue.

The details of how the accident actually occurred are not clear, but it is certain that speed played a factor in the cause of the accident, and the driver of the car did not have time to hit the brakes as the light changed red and rather than blowing through the light, most likely he slammed on his brakes that threw the car out of control causing it to skid several feet.

accident-10-28-16-1It doesn’t stop there.  On Friday, two days later there was another accident at Daisy Avenue and Anaheim Street.  According to my husband who saw the accident unfold, stated the woman driving the truck was not paying attention to the sedan making the right turn and she careened into him.  My husband had just moved his car from that corner minutes earlier before the accident happened.  This was another senseless accident that could have been prevented had she been paying attention looking out for other motorist.  Cars have a tendency to fly around that corner.  Pictures courtesy of my husband Mr. Jackson.

The problems coming from either direction on Anaheim drivers think they are above the law.  Drivers boldly take their lives and the lives of others into their own hands.  They purpose blow through red lights with concern for others safety and it is a wonder, since my husband have lived here, no one has been killed.  But then again who knows.

This is one intersection that needs to be clearly monitored because it makes no sense the number of accidents caused by carelessness and stupidity.  And there are those who just have no business being behind the wheel of a car let alone being allowed to drive.  They need to be stripped of their driving privileges and taken off the street because they are bound to kill someone.

Traffic accidents are among the most causes for someone being severely injured. or killed by motorists.

690665_630x354Let’s rewind to last year.  ABC News reported a car plunging into the Long Beach canal off the 710 freeway where three teens were killed.  There were a total of four teens in the car, but only one 19 year-old male was the only survivor.  Two teen males and one teen girl were killed in the horrific accident.  This was two blocks from where we live.  Picture from ABC News.  Click on the link or the image to read the entire article.

What is so scary about this is a friend of mine’s younger sister was supposed to have been in that car that night, but due to an argument she and her younger sister were having, she decided not to go with them and stayed home for the evening.

spl1382242_001_135516983And lets not forget the Texas A &M student who was recently arrested for taking a topless selfie while driving with an open bottle of wine in her car, crashing into a police car.  The New York Post told the story very eloquently of this this Texas A & M student was trying to take a topless selfie for her boyfriend to post on Snapchat.  She obviously had no concern for whomever life she put in danger that night.  And to have crashed into a police car was just fate because she was taken off the street before she could have killed anyone with that foolishness.  Picture from New York Post.  Click on the link or the image to read the entire article.

These are a small handful of the issues we are faced with on the roads today.  It is a subtle reminder that we can’t just be on the road driving as if we are the only ones out there.  We have to drive responsibly and defensively because there are those who don’t care.  Have you ever wondered why someones car looks like it’s been driven off a cliff?  Every dent, ding, rip and tear probably has an accident tied to to it.

Overall it is getting worse as the number of drivers is increasing.  Undocumented citizens are being allowed to get drivers license, more and more kids are getting drivers license, and the number of accidents goes up and insurance rates are through the roof.

The only thing we can do is try to safeguard ourselves and our families as best we can from the retardation of careless and irresponsible drives because clearly law enforcement does not have the man power to take these individuals off the street and keep them off the street.

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